Therapy Bites

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In counselling or therapy, externalisation refers to a technique where a person's thoughts, feelings, or issues are separated from their identity and treated as if they are separate entities. Some times we give them names, illustrate what they look like, describe their characteristics. For example, someone with disordered eating may view this as a person named Ed and Ed controls how they act, think and feel, suffocating their own values, beliefs and thoughts. This gives one power to take back control and create change.

This process can help one gain perspective, reduce emotional attachment, and work through their challenges more objectively. Another example might be, externalising anxiety by naming it, visually representing it and describing its characteristics. 

Give externalising a go and see if it is the key to unlocking empowerment for creating change.

1. Seek Professional Help: Reach out to a mental health professional such as a therapist, counsellor, or psychiatrist for guidance and support. They can provide personalised treatment and therapy tailored to your needs.

2. Stay Connected: Engage with supportive friends, family, or support groups. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust can be helpful.

3. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can positively impact mood and reduce symptoms of depression. Even light activities like walking can be beneficial.

4. Healthy Diet: Nourishing your body with a balanced diet can have a positive impact on mental health. Make sure you have a diet containing pro and pre biotics. 

5. Sleep: Aim for regular sleep patterns and ensure you get enough rest each night.

6. Limit Stress: Identify stressors and work on managing them. Meditation, mindfulness, and relaxation techniques can be beneficial.

7. Engage in Enjoyable Activities: Participate in hobbies or activities that bring joy and a sense of accomplishment.

8. Challenge Negative Thoughts: Practice positive self-talk and challenge negative thought patterns.

9. Avoid Alcohol and Substance Abuse: Substance use can exacerbate depression, so it's best to avoid them.

10. Seek Immediate Help: If you ever feel overwhelmed and unsafe, reach out for immediate help from a crisis hotline or emergency services.

Emergency (000)
Mental Health Triage (13 14 65)
Lifeline (13 11 14)
Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467)

Emotions will never seem irrational or illogical once we take the time to understand the thoughts and beliefs behind them. Sometimes holding space and having a curious mind is all we need to help someone feel understood and heard. 

Talking to a trusted friend,GP or a counsellor can help you understand you own emotions and the emotions of others. 

Hostility begets hostility, Compassion, compassion, love, love.

Talk based therapies are not about being stuck in the past. These processes are about establishing what is happening cognitively and taking action toward change in creating your best.

A good counsellor or therapist will be able to assist you in bringing the unconscious to the conscious mine so that you can create the change you desire. 

Automatic thoughts are the words that pop into our minds, often in response to a situation. 

Are automatic thoughts helpful?
Unfortunately no, not always. Sometimes these thoughts can derail our mental health and we tumble down a cognitive stair case landing at the bottom. 

A tip on how to manage these thoughts...
When you notice an automatic thought, pause for a moment and ask yourself.... "what was just happening in my mind? How did I get to this place of thinking? Is there any evidence to support this thought?" 

Remember,
A thought is just a thought. Just because you think you are a banana.... doesn't mean you actually are one.

Tip, seeking help from a counsellor can help you in identifying, unpack and change these thoughts.

About 18 years ago I was diagnosed with my first auto immune disease. It was a time when I experienced loss and grief, fear and anxiety and low mood. I wasn't able to function. I was so tired and in pain, but it was invisible pain and invisible fatigue.

It was when I learnt about the spoon theory. Some days we wake and we have 10 spoons, other days we only have 4. However many spoons we have, are the spoons that must last us the whole day. There are no more spoons for us that suffer the invisible.

Today I have 1 spoon left, 1 spoon to look after my children, get them fed, washed and off to bed.

Having no more spoons means it's ok to say no, it's ok to have boundaries, it's ok to go to bed.

It's also been a helpful way to explain to my husband how I am doing. He understands when I say I have no spoons left means I am physically at the bottom of the barrel.

Today there is one spoon left, and I am protecting that for my role as a mother.

I hope you manage to protect your spoons and allocate them wherever they need to go first.

Sometimes we can get a bit stuck in what feels like a pit of emotion. 

Counselling can help us understand our thinking that led us to this place. It can help us understand  core beliefs behind our emotions. When we consider these in relation to our values we can make change to our world.

A tool that we often use in counselling for panic attacks are grounding techniques. The 333 rules is a great little easy one to remember when you need it, or to be able to support a loved one who is experiencing a state of panic.